Hi Jules, my name is Amy.  After reading your profile, it looks like we are both dealing with a similar situation. I just lost my husband and best friend on June 16th. I have a 17 year old daughter from a previous marriage.  I was with my husband 11 years, married for 5 of them. I found my husband, who was young like your husband, (48) dead sitting in front of the computer that morning. Presumed heart attack as well. We were best friends, and soul-mates, and I really don't even know where to begin to try to get through life without him. My daughter is filling out college applications for next year, and the thought of her leaving me too is devastating. I'm terrified of being alone. I can not imagine the pain of what you are dealing with, having three children. If you would like to chat let me know, maybe we can help each other.