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Felicia,
I am so sorry for your loss. I can somewhat related. My husband died Dec. 12, 2014 and i was not with him at his side. We were legally separated the last 6b months of his life, and it wasn't that i didnt want to be with him. Just that my father in law interfered with our life and created so many problems for us and so did the ex-wife. I miss him so much and we did file for divorce, but it was never finalized. Now i am in a legal court battle with the father in law and ex-wife. My husband had 3 boys and i have two girls 22 &18 and grandson.
I was very hurt and angry.