Ben Holifield
  • Male
  • Little Rock, AR
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 33 year old man from Little Rock, AR struggling to deal with the loss of my fiancee. She truly was the most amazing woman I have ever known and I often wonder just how I will get through all of this. I am currently finishing up my masters degree and then I'll start on my Phd in the classics.
About my Loss:
My fiancee was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 7 months ago and passed away last month (09/19/11). We were supposed to get married on 11/11/11 and had even moved the date up to 09/10/11 when we realized that she wasn't doing well but they had to put her in a medically enduced coma on that date. I am so torn with a mixture of emotions ranging from anger, fear, saddness, hate, grief, and a great deal more. Though I am a rational man, I still find myself trying to explain this to myself with no luck.

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At 3:46pm on October 27, 2011, mercy said…
Ben, she is soooo gorgeous; I'm really sorry that she had to die so young.
At 12:51pm on October 27, 2011, Amanda Ab said…

Hello Ben,

I am sorry for the loss of your beatiful fiancee. I am sure she was as beatiful from the outside as she was from the inside. We all here are on the same page of mixed emotions. I continue to ask the Why? all the time and I have still to find an answer almost 6 months after my husband's death. There is just days that are so sad and feel like not knowing for how long more will I keep on moving forward. It is real hard to move on with such a loss. There is many great people on this site which I have met and helped me share my feelings and all of them understand because they too have lost a loved one.

Thank you

 
 
 

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My mom died 4 months ago

My mom had pulmonary fibrosis. She was sick for a few years. It was funny how when my grandmother smoked, my mom would always say-I’m gonna die from second hand smoke. My mom never smoked. She died from lung disease. Ironic.I was fine at the funeral. Planning. Talking to everyone. I thought u handled it great. Now 4 months later, I’m a mess. Some days I’m perfectly fine, but others I can’t walk down the street without crying. I keep thinking that I haven’t talked to her in a while & I…See More
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