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Hello Ben,
I am sorry for the loss of your beatiful fiancee. I am sure she was as beatiful from the outside as she was from the inside. We all here are on the same page of mixed emotions. I continue to ask the Why? all the time and I have still to find an answer almost 6 months after my husband's death. There is just days that are so sad and feel like not knowing for how long more will I keep on moving forward. It is real hard to move on with such a loss. There is many great people on this site which I have met and helped me share my feelings and all of them understand because they too have lost a loved one.
Thank you