Why do I always fall apart?

I can go for weeks without taking about you, but then I'll have a memory, one I haven't thought about in years, and the years begin to flow. I feel like I have taken a few steps backwards when I fall apart because of a memory. 

I guess the reason for the falling apart comes from the fact that people have made me feel like the only way I will ever get to where I can move on is for me to not talk about you. That's not fair.