almost 3 years later it hurts that my dad won't be around to see me make it big as an actor and give a cool speech during a toast if I ever book my first movie and have an after-party. There is nobody else that I would want sitting in the audience of my open mics and there will never be another person that cared about my acting dream as much as he did, my father was not only proud of my acting but he showed up to all 8 shows, even snuck into reversals and the director, producer, and all of my classmates in my theater group knew and loved him, he was so proud of me and I miss that he was my biggest fan, and everything I once enjoyed is no longer fun, and I always like to be alone when I'm feeling like this, I used to be such a bubbly, funny person when he was alive but now there are periods where my sense of humor disappears and I go on autopilot and just sleepwalk my way through life, I know good times and better days are ahead but right now it hurts