Today I went shopping for the holiday and I came across some people I used to work with. They asked me how I was and before I could answer they answered for me. Why do people do that? So they think i'm going to bust out crying? Do they think that that's all I talk about?Don't they know that my life is defined by more than just my sorrow? I guess I dont understand. I have lots of times that I talk about other things. No one wants to just be my friend. Are they afraid that I will fall apart in front of them? I never even got the chance to say that I am doing well. I have been dealing with this for over12 years. You would think that someone anyone would just want to get to know me instead of assuming that I am an emotional zombie. That hurts me. It hurts me when people try to avoid me.Don't they know that I dont' need them to feel sorry for me.I do that very well all by myself. I feel alone. I feel like a disease that no one wants to get near. Sometimes I feel like people think the loss of a child is contagious.How can I move on if I can't even have a friend? Am I doomed to be alone for the rest of my life? I just don;t get it. I am human. I have feelings. At first I was angry and then I was very sad. Others make it all so complicated. I still laugh, I still sing, I still make jokes and I do have good days. I feel like saying to them wait im not going to cry, im not going to flip out I just want the same respect as everyone else and I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling like an outcast. Don't ask me a question and then answer it for me because your afraid of what I might say. I still have a brain in my head. I still have the social etiquette that I had before. As a matter of fact I am a more openminded person because of what I've been through. I hate it when others count me out before I say they can. Sometimes I can be very funny and I can be alot of fun, just give me a chance. I guess I am still angry. Tonight when I go to sleep I will pray for those people who move to the other side of the street and those who feel they need to ask  a question and then answer it for me. God help those people.