THIS PAINFUL JOURNEY ALONE.

I'm only 2 months into my greif.  And I don't see how it's supposse to get better.  I hurt all the time.  I'm still in the denial stage.  I truly don't feel as though my daughter is really gone.  She was my only child.  She was killed in an auto accident.  She was the only beauty in my life.  I was so proud of her.  She graduate college with a bachelors degree in education.  She was all I had; I'm not married and my "little family" is no more.  I will never hear the patter of little feet calling me "Grandma".  And that just cuts me to the bone.  I haven't been able to cry for my child.  Tears stream down, but I can't cry.  Everyday is a new battle. 

 

But today was difficult the person that I thought was my closest freind hurt me tremdously today. Made this painful journey even harder. 

Quote:  "You need to stop acting silly; go out and have fun.  My cousin lost her husband and she keeps busy by going out with her "DAUGHTER". (End Quote.)

 

OMG REALLY???? How dare he compare my greif of losing my only child my "DAUGHTER"; unexpectly and suddenly; to his cousin losing her husband to cancer.  Granted any loss is horible and I feel for her but she knew and was able to prepare her self for that day and say ""goodbye". 

I didn't get to say "goodbye".  I didn't get to see my child before she died. He really upset me.  I couldn't even talk to him anymore.  I'm tired, I'm scared and I'm alone with no one to lean on at home. 

 

I can't lean on my mother due to my she suffers from Altzheimers.  My dad however is wonderful but he is suffering from his own morning for the loss of his only grand-child, plus he morns for my morning.  So, I'm trying to be strong for him and I will not let him see me fall apart.  Plus he takes care of my mother.  Friends are becoming distant and they have their own lives and family to take care of my mother. 

 

I'm just alone in this.  And I know there is someone out there who is experiencing the same thing.   

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Comment by bluebird on August 23, 2014 at 6:11pm

People say stupid, stupid things to grieving people.  Sometimes they mean well, sometimes they're just idiots, but either way it hurts. You aren't wrong to feel as you do.

I'm sorry your daughter died. My beloved husband died suddenly too, and now life is hell. We are all suffering. My experience isn't exactly the same as yours, and no two people's experiences with this hell on earth are the same anyway, but I get it.

Do you have any (other) friends you can speak with? Or possibly a counselor? (not saying you should see a counselor -- I'm certainly not going to -- but it does help some people).

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