“I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me.”


― Dorothy B. Hughes, In a Lonely Place

For a long time after my husband died, I couldn't read.  Before the ability to focus that way came back, I found that certain phrases and passages that I'd encountered long ago were appearing in my mind and sticking there, and that continues to happen, though I am able to do a certain amount of reading now.  Many of the phrases that haunt me (not necessarily in an unpleasant way) refer to lovers being parted by destiny, desertion, infidelity, etc., and not death -- but for whatever reason the emotion in them feels relevant and keeps bringing them to my mind.  This one actually comes from a book I've never read, but I think it is also voiced in the film adaptation, which I did see years ago, so my memory seems to have slowly worked away and unearthed it in the context of my husband's death.  Not that I blame him for leaving me, but I guess the pain is somewhat similar to love persisting after desertion, or to unrequited love.

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