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Comment by Dennis C. on November 8, 2014 at 8:00am

I am so sorry for your loss Mark

What a heart wrenching experience.

I know what helps me through my grief is HOPE.

My hope is based on what the Bible teaches about the future. The now is too painful, but the future holds HOPE, and that is what helps me stay focused and looking forward.

May you have comfort and solace. If there is anything I can do to help PLEASE let me know.

Comment by morgan on November 4, 2014 at 9:04pm

Mark,

Your question is one that each of us keeps asking ourselves,,,,  Will this ever go away?  Speaking from 21 months after losing my husband of 35 years to stage 4 cancer found on the day after Xmas 2012 and he died Jan 2013 I can tell you that for me it has not gone away.  The first year was a complete fog.  It was a struggle to simply get out of bed.  When that was possible I tried to eat or do basic hygiene.  Both suffered. I have lost 40 lbs and now am under 100.  The crying has been unending.  I think there might have been a dozen days I haven't cried.  Sometimes it can be 4-5 times a day. So as I have tried to live I have begged the universe to let me go believing  there comes a point where you just stop trying because it hurts too much to hold on anymore and yet I am still here.  I believe that is only because my constitution is still winning the battle.  

 I know you are in a great deal of pain.  Losing your son only two months ago your pain is really raw.  It will be that way for quite a while.  I keep trying to understand where the pain comes from.  I think for me it comes from the inability to answer the million dollar questions.  Why?  Why did he have to die and leave me behind?  Why did he have to die like he did?  Why do some people who don't take any care of their health end up living and he died?  Why couldn't I have had more time?  Lots more whys…..You will have the same questions and want answers.  That's where the pain starts because there are no real answers.  We all want to know and with death you know nothing. It just stops everything.  No answers, just the pain of not knowing.  

Does it get better?  I guess it depends.  Your wife and daughter are a major part of your life.  They don't understand any more than you do but I am pretty sure there is love between each of you that can help you.  Lean on it.  Heavily.  And hope the rest of it gets better.  

Morgan

Many people go to their faith.  I quit that a long time ago so that doesn't help me.  I guess the best recourse you have to try and stem the pain is to love each other more.  Your wife, your daughter and her boyfriend.