His ex-wife and I have forged an unusual relationship. I will throw myself under that bus in order to keep being able to love the 2 grandchildren with all I have. I am known as #2, or sister wife. Only to find out that he was never separated when he asked me out on our first date. He wasn't honest to his family, or with me. That is a hard hurdle. I believed in our love story, and still do. I would rather have been pissed at him than to lose him. I still believe in us. But have struggled to put this in perspective. His son and I have discussed it. He supports me, says bygones are bygones. That helped. I hope that he is happy that his Dad had love and joy for a time.

Stories of begrudging hatred during his funeral have found their way back to me. It makes me sad that people can hold on to that rancor for so long and were unable to let it go during his funeral.

So many emotions, coming and going. My bottom line is that he has the love of my life and I miss him. The hole left behind after his loss will never be filled. I will never be the same. I continue to cry daily. I miss my love.