Well after 2 years I finally put up a picture of my husband, Tom.  It is one of my favorite pics of him.  We were at the provincial fair and our youngest grandsons were playing around behind him.  He was having a good time that day.  It was taken almost exactly one year before he died.  On his list of things he wanted to do when he knew the end was coming was to take all the grandkids back one more time.  He did not make it. 

You would think after all this time having his smiling face pop out when I am not expecting it would be easy or easier at least.  But again tonight I come here to read and offer support if I think I can offer any and WHAM, there he is, and WHAM the loss is huge and the sobs tear me apart.  How can someone so vibrant just be gone?  I will never understand.  I will never love him less.  I will never stop feeling the enormity what can not be undone. 

So you will not see my handsome husband on his page again.  He lives in my mind but I am going to be a coward and put his picture away again.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder in death even more than in life.