I've noticed that it's becoming easier to live without you. Although, I will always love you and miss you and I will think of you often, my life is getting easier the less I talk about you. In the beginning, there was no way I could ever fathom not talking about you or to you. It's coming up to the 2 year mark since I lost you, and I have come to realize that talking about you isn't as important to me now as it was the first year. 

I'm still trying to figure out how I made it through that first year. In so many ways, I should be dead, not by my own hands. I don't own my soul, God does, and as much as I would love to join my husband in the afterlife I will never take my own life; I will never sell my soul to anything or anyone not for any amount of money. God created me. My soul is His. 

Anyway, Jeremy, 

I need to finish what I was telling you. You were my soulmate, husband, best friend, lover, my life, my sexy handsome daddy (neither of those titles more important than the other) for so long that, when I lost you, I didn't see how I could ever move on without you. It was completely astounding to me that anyone say, "Time heals all wounds". I could not understand how someone would ever say that to me. That idea was the biggest lie, the absolute worst story telling session I had ever heard in my 40 years of life. 

However, it has come to my attention that, not talking about you or to you or hear you in my head is what I'm alright with doing. Not because anyone has said I need to, but because it's what I gotta do. This is my closure.