My son is gone - 38 years old, too soon.

I lost my son on August 23 to Lynphoma cancer that had turned to Lukemia. He looked fine, he was relatively healthy but within a week he had died. He had lived with me on and off for the past three years (since he was diagnosed) and I was with him until the end. I had to tell the doctors to turn off the machines. My daughter, I have two children, was my rock. Thank God for my daughter or I wouldn't have been able to get through it. I am still in deniial I think. Most of the time I can't believe he is gone. It has been three weeks and I can still think of nothing else. Every waking moment it is in my head. Logically, I know he is better and not having to go through the horrible stuff you do when you have cancer. I have great faith and Iknow his life happened as it was supposed to. I have no doubts I will see him on the other side one day but none of that seems to really help the pain. I am keeping a journal of letters. Every day when it gets to be too much, I write him a letter. I so hope he knows how much I miss him and love him. I have read other post and it helps to know how others are feeling. Sometimes I feel there is no one in the world that knows what I am going through. I have lots of friends and family but I feel isolated too, I don't want them to think they have to take care of me. Thanks for reading this moms story.

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