I really thought he'd come home from the hospital during those early days of his illness.  I knew it would be tough for him to stop drinking, but with my encouragement and that of my husband, I felt he could make it.  But liver disease took him quicker than any of us expected.  I miss him so much and some days I am so angry that alcohol has done this to our family again.  He isn't the first one to die from this ugly disease.  All of my uncles drank heavily, my first husband, even my Mom at one point in her life.  I'm just sick of all of it.  I think alcohol should be banned but I know it never will be.  And now, on top of grieving my brother, there are six people dead from the shooting that happened here in Tucson on Saturday.  I feel so bad for all of their families and for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, shot in the head.  It looks like she might survive, and no one knows yet what her life will be like if she does.  God, please help them all.  I do feel grateful today that the sun is shining, that I have never drank, that my kids are healthy and happy and that I have a safe and comfortable place to live.  For all this and more I am so very grateful.