I hated my birthdays after the age of 22. Honestly, I thought birthdays were for young people waiting to become teenagers, turn 16, 18 and 21. Over the years, I whined and at times cried on Feb. 23. I remember a couple birthdays my mom called me and I just said "uh, thanks, you know I don't really like celebrating my birthday." Wow, did those words come back to haunt me. Yesterday, the biggest voice of my life was unheard. No phone call from my mom. I did receive many calls, birthday wishes and a couple presents. However, the biggest gift that I received was the overwhelming realization that the alternative to birthdays is death. I of course would like to change those blah comments that I made to my mom. I would like to remember joyfully with excitement receiving my mother's birthday wishes. Ha, if I could turn back time. Tho' my family and friends filled my day, I still had a lonely feeling. As the day passed, I got angry with myself. How with all of the calls and wishes I got, could I possibly feel sad. Then I looked around my house, at my children and in my heart. I think it has finally hit me. I can't in person see my mom and her voice is getting harder to hear in my head. I can however, see my mom in pictures, hear memories of her life with my children and mostly, see her every day when I look in the mirror. Thank you mom for being a part of my life. And thank you for in spirit being with me every day.