My Son

 March 10, 2007 was the most devastating day in my life.  My son was tragically killed in a snowmobile accident, leaving behind a 3 year old son, a pregnant wife of 8 months, and his only sibling, Amanda, as well as me, his Mamma.

Our world has spiralled out of control trying to regain some semblance of life after such a shocking loss.  Christopher was 31 years old when he died of massive impact to his heart when a snowmobile handle-bar crashed into his chest when his machine flipped over on top of him, and killed him.

It truly was a Mother’s worst nightmare.  I have never experienced, and continue to experience, such deep pain and heartbreak.  No words can describe the suffering our family has endured during this hardship.

The days and years following his death I was consumed with taking care of others.  First, the funeral had to be planned, which I took pride in doing for my son.  I wanted the best for him.  After the funeral we started preparing for the birth of his second son.  Caleb Christopher was born on April 20, 2007 – a bittersweet day to say the least.

My son was the most amazing man and I yearn for him each day.  Time passing does not make it easier.  The memories are good but the loneliness is all consuming some days.  He was my everything, even though he was my son, he was my soulmate – from the moment he was born.

When my son was 12, his father was killed in a car accident and I did my best to raise my two children.  I remarried but they had trouble adjusting to their step father.  My life has been difficult and yet I’ve managed to maintain a positive and caring attitude for those around  me, but it seems I’m running out of hope and need some help desperately, especially in the financial area. 

I have carried my son’s financial burden for 7 years now, and helped my daughters financially after my son was killed. 

My son was going through bankruptcy when he died, and I carried him financially for about a year.  I accumulated credit card debt that is overbearing because it’s impossible to pay off.  He had no insurance making the whole situation even worse.  The local community did have fundraisers for my daughter in law but I was left holding a huge financial burden.  I have tried, over the years to pay this debt off but feel myself sinking instead of swimming.

I am wondering if there is an organization out there that offers any help for someone in my situation?  Any small donation would be so greatly appreciated.  I can send you any information you require with the hope that someone can help.

I would also prefer to keep this anonymous due to the fact that I want to protect his dignity.  No one knew he was having financial trouble and going through bankruptcy, and I prefer to keep it that way.

Please advise if anyone knows if there is some kine of help available.  Thank you kindly.