Momentary lapses of sadness is something I wish to describe as those moments in which I am overcome with dread and  emotion about the loss of the beloved Lisa.  This is different than grieving I believe because these moments don't last very long now.  They come to me while I rethink the events surrounding her death and our wonderful life together(which seems like 24/7 although she been gone for 3 months now).  

My latest momentary lapse of sadness was this morning as I looked out my front door wishing she was walking up to the house so we could embrace and I could tell her I loved her very much. But that's not going to happen and I cry.  Another time occurred last week while watching the NASCAR race. The race was winding down and her favorite driver, Jeff Gordon, was making a comeback from deep in the field. I remembered all the times she would cheer him on as he won many races. I just dried to think of the joy this would bring her on Sundays. So much joy in fact that she would call her friends and relatives, who cheered other drivers, to let them know that Jeff just won(yes she was rubbing it in). She was living and happy. 

I don't know when these situation will go away as right now I don't care if they do. They seem to help me cope with her death although I don't like feeling sad. 

I love you Lisa.  My Lisa