Febuary 13, 2012

Someone told me the other night I had to realize that I couldn’t hide from the living world or the ghosts would finally get me. But isn’t that what I’m wishing for? To be able to hear you say “I’ll never let anything bad happen to you”, to see your brown eyes and smile, to smell your cologne or even your stinking shoes, and to feel you holding me just one more time, no matter how much it seizes me from this life without you in the process?

It’s been six months since every smile that I make or heart beat that I take has been effortless. I miss you the most when I’m awakened by the morning sunlight on Saturdays and wish I could still feel the scratch of your face against my cheek. Your name is my favorite thing to speak, our song is my favorite thing to hear and the “remember when’s” are my favorite thoughts. You broke the lock on my heart and stole a part of it to be forever yours. Just as you said “ I love you” to me for the first time, you were gone, leaving me here to question why this love didn’t get a second chance to not have any “we nevers”…