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Comment by Georgia Garrison on July 4, 2011 at 3:58pm

DearSue,

Thank you for telling me about your experience about your lovely Mom.I am so sorry you have suffered and I sooo understand about your crying.  And yes, the phone does ring less and less, just when we need to hear from someone who can commirserate with us.One day, it is my sincerest wish that your sisters, or  at least one of them will return and you will feel loved again.Death of a loved one creates such strange feelings in those around us.  And yes, I am just not contacting people who I had considered very close to me and see how that works out.

Your Pastor has very good advice for us - step back and leave the door open. That is just what I am doing and praying for new friends with like interests.

 

Take care of yourself Sue, and I do thank you for your heart-warming story and I hope in the future to be of some help to you.  Just knowing there is someone in this big - wide world who has similar problems does seem to help quite a bit.  Have a Happy 4th if at all possible and I shall do the same.

Bless you, and please keep in touch.

Georgia

Comment by Sue Waxman on July 3, 2011 at 11:18am

Georgia,

My beloved mom Nancy died 7 days ago. Cancer. She went so quickly. My sisters age 45 and 52 (I am 55), told me to go away and cry and then come back when I had it together. I left and haven't been back. They are both so different than I am. Mom and I were together all of the time before she got sick. My sister Stacey (age 52) decided to tell me everything she hated about me the day after mom died. She sat down and just let me have it. I was blown away and crushed. I went and saw a Pastor at a church across from my house. He gave me some advice that makes sense. He said step back, leave the door open. Don't contact them. Give them the opportunity to miss you. If they don't...then you have to accept that about them. He said tell them you love them and then leave it at that. I did everything he said and I have heard nothing from either of them except that they had booked their flights to Michigan (Stacey and I live in the same town in Florida - use the same airport). They said the service is next Friday at 3:00. Like I was some distant cousin. I had no say in any of the arrangements. I had to call the funeral home to ask for some of my mothers ashes. They had to clear that request with my sister Sydney (age 45). Georgia...grieve in your way..for as long as it takes. Be so very happy you had a chance at true love. You are NOT selfish. I am not selfish. What matters is the love we have inside of us because we had them in our lives. My mom was proud of me and she loved me. I have no idea how I can find any type of "life". I have absolutely no family support. My friends are very supportive but the phone rings less as time passes on. Who wants to talk to someone who cries constantly? I refuse to get angry with my sisters. I feel so very sorry for them. I pray for them to be OK. I had no children. I am alone now. Now we are friends and I am here to hear anything you have to say. Sue