Today your oldest starts pre-school. The baby starts VPK today as well. They have their matching book bags and lunch boxes. We've met the teachers and they are both very excited. I will take their pictures before they head out on the first of many journeys so we can preserve this moment. I will then sit in my car and cry like I did last year when the oldest started VPK. I cry because time is passing by at record speed. I cry because you are missing another "first" with your children.

I want to believe you are with us. I want to believe you watch over your babies. Daddy's girl misses you a year later. We redecorated her room and she only wanted us to hang pictures of daddy in there. It breaks my heart to know she suffers. I wonder in that moment before you left us if you once considered how this would impact our lives forever. Non-the-less I don't blame you. I just miss you. My heart aches but I am reminded you are still with us. Your baby girl is exactly like you. She is funny, adorable, quick tempered and smart. She gets in trouble and like you, acts innocent and tries to make us laugh. We are in trouble with that one.

Today I'm going to do what I've done for over a year now. I'm going to go hug your children. Encourage them and tell them how proud I am of them. I am going to hold them close to my heart so I can feel your heart beating inside of them. I will forever be there little brother. My gift to you so that you may continue to rest in peace.

Missing you terribly and still hearing your laugh is a gift you left me. Now I pray the baby doesn't get kicked out of Christian school for cussing. Just like her daddy! We decided not to pay the tuition in advace just in case.