Hard to believe it's already been a month. He was the sweetest thing... always happy to see me and spend time with me. One of the things I miss the most is sharing popcorn with him while we watched movies.

He was only 8 years old. There was  so much life left in him, I hate that this has happened. I'm constantly having panic attacks and I feel like my life is completely over. I'm angry that the world keeps on moving without him in it.

I've been forcing myself to run through my daily routine despite the depression that's set over me. My family has been very supportive, but they're going about their lives and I'm just stuck in this black hole. I have two beautiful daughters that are the only thing that keeps me in check.

I don't believe in God, or Heaven, or any of that. I don't believe I'll get to see my baby Jack again, and every time someone tells me he's in a better place or that he's with my grandfather now, I just want to scream.

I'm not really sure I'm even able to convey entirely how I feel right now.