Today I took a plunge into freezing cold water to raise money for a gal I don't know who has brain cancer. I'm not sure what came over me to do such a crazy thing. When I was a little girl I was sitting in a lake near our home and the current came and washed me away. I remember going under for the last time when my big brother came and held me up by my hair until my dad could come and rescue me. I have since been afraid of moving water. I'll never forget that awful feeling of drowning. I didn't feel that terror again until my little boy died in a car crash, and then again when my other son also died in a car crash. Since then I have stayed pretty much in my own comfort zone until today. I swallowed my fear and jumped in the freezing water. I panicked a little as I swam back to shore, but this time I had a choice as to how the outcome would play out. Mothers Day is approaching fast. It's one of those day's that tears up my heart. I know I am still a mom but I can't help but feel lost. It's hard to keep going, but today I proved to myself that I am still worthy of being on this earth. I miss the boys so much. I hope they are proud of their Mom! I know I have to keep on living, but today I was glad to be alive!