I came home from work.  Normal day.  My sweetheart was in the shower, I heated up his dinner and made mine, he came out in his pajamas and kissed me hello.  He told me of his day and how happy he was that his union was on strike and he could be home now.  After dinner he always took a nap, but for some reason he didn't.  He saw the neighbor cutting down trees and walked up the top of the hill to give him a drink and talk.  I was changing the string on the lawn trimmer and the neighbor yelled, you husband fell!  I ran as I saw my sweetheart drop to his knees.  Kevin called 911 as I performed CPR on him. It took them 20 minutes to get there.  They got his heart beating again but it was too late.  He had lost too much oxygen to his brain and was on life support.  His children and I had to make the decision to stop life support.  Since that day my life has never been the same and never will be.  I tried to save him.  So many unanswered questions.  Why him and why now?  He has two beautiful grandchildren and we were not married yet.  Now I struggle every day with the loneliness without him.  Tomorrow is his grandaughter's birthday and he won't be there. It is going to be hard......