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Comment by Denise Taylor on January 27, 2016 at 9:02pm

Wouldn't it only be a complete disregard if her husband told her to grieve for him 5 years? Then she wanted to marry in 9 months. He wanted her to move on. As my Mother does me. She does not want me crying everyday or feeling empty and alone. She told me if anything ever happened to her I better not cry because she was happy. Cry forysf because I'm still here on earth.

Comment by bluebird on January 27, 2016 at 7:56pm

joanne,

I completely agree with you.  I also don't think there's anything wrong with forming a judgment about someone's behavior -- we are thinking beings, after all, and almost always have opinions.  What would be wrong, in my opinion, would be to tell that person what you thought of her behavior, unless she asked you to share your opinion on that matter.

In any case, I don't at all understand how anyone could ever want to date or be in another romantic/sexual relationship after the death of her/his spouse or partner.  It makes no sense to me at all, either.  I know that some people do feel the need to be with someone else, and for them (but never for me) I can just barely understand them maybe getting into another relationship after a few years have passed (though that is something that I will never do), but after only 9 months, I don't understand it at all.  How could she have actually been in love with her husband, if she is ready to date someone else after such a short period of time?

As for myself, I will never date anyone else or be in any kind of relationship with anyone else. My husband and I were together for nearly 13 years, happy and monogamous, and were married for only one week when he died.  He is the only person for me, he is my soulmate.  I have never been in love with anyone else, and I never will be. I have never made love with anyone else, and I never will.  He is my one and only. My life ended the very second my husband died, and now the rest of this godforsaken life is just me waiting and wanting to die.

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