I don't get it

I'm not usually a judgemental person, but I was reading a magazine today and one of the articles was about a lady who's husband had died 9months ago and she was talking about how she had met a new man and was ready to be in love again, and how her husband would want her to be happy again, I know Andy would want me to be happy again(never gonna happen)  but i can just not understand that , it just doesn't make any sense to me,in fact it makes me think she must be a horrid person, I know I have no right to think that or judge her but surely if you were married for 16yrs has she said she was, how the hell after just 9 months are you ready to be in love again, im 6 months into my loss and I still cry everyday and I can still feel my heart aching, I just don't get it, in fact it makes me feel quite angry, not angry to the fact that she can clearly move on, but angry at her for what I feel is a complete disregard for her late husband, I mean how could she do that.

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Comment by Denise Taylor on January 27, 2016 at 9:02pm
Wouldn't it only be a complete disregard if her husband told her to grieve for him 5 years? Then she wanted to marry in 9 months. He wanted her to move on. As my Mother does me. She does not want me crying everyday or feeling empty and alone. She told me if anything ever happened to her I better not cry because she was happy. Cry forysf because I'm still here on earth.
Comment by bluebird on January 27, 2016 at 7:56pm

joanne,

I completely agree with you.  I also don't think there's anything wrong with forming a judgment about someone's behavior -- we are thinking beings, after all, and almost always have opinions.  What would be wrong, in my opinion, would be to tell that person what you thought of her behavior, unless she asked you to share your opinion on that matter.

In any case, I don't at all understand how anyone could ever want to date or be in another romantic/sexual relationship after the death of her/his spouse or partner.  It makes no sense to me at all, either.  I know that some people do feel the need to be with someone else, and for them (but never for me) I can just barely understand them maybe getting into another relationship after a few years have passed (though that is something that I will never do), but after only 9 months, I don't understand it at all.  How could she have actually been in love with her husband, if she is ready to date someone else after such a short period of time?

As for myself, I will never date anyone else or be in any kind of relationship with anyone else. My husband and I were together for nearly 13 years, happy and monogamous, and were married for only one week when he died.  He is the only person for me, he is my soulmate.  I have never been in love with anyone else, and I never will be. I have never made love with anyone else, and I never will.  He is my one and only. My life ended the very second my husband died, and now the rest of this godforsaken life is just me waiting and wanting to die.

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