Comment

Comment by Lisa S on September 29, 2013 at 8:40pm

Hi Alexandra -

I feel sad for you too.  You are so young.  As you can see from this site, it is debilitating to lose a mother no matter your age, but it is true the older we are the more experiences we have behind us which does help in someway. Please don't lose hope, that you will survive this.  You are right that reading the comments on this site are helpful, if only to help you feel like you are not completely alone and that your emotions as agonizing as they are normal.  As much as you don't want this to be, you will adjust to this new life.  You will sadly always have a piece of your heart missing, but the gut wrenching pain you feel now will subside.  It won't always be easy and mostly for awhile you will live and go through life i.e. Thanksgiving and Christmas by making a conscious decision to do so, not because you "feel" like you want to.  But you will have to do it because it is the only way to honor the Mother you loved so much and who loved you.  So every time you take that difficult step forward, you need to say to yourself, "for you Mom, because I love you, I can do this".  This will give you the strength to keep moving forward. 

I took anti-depressants for 1 year, I wanted to quit before (I have never liked taking meds for anything), but told myself to give them one year, I'm glad I did.  No there was no miracle cure for my grief, but it did get me through the darkest period.  By that time I "learned" that while I did not want to move on, I was going to. 

Try not to be so hard on yourself...you are surviving the greatest loss of your life.  Do you journal?  It is hard and it will be very emotional, but that is what you need, to get the emotion out so it is not bottled up inside you.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.  Enjoy the rest of your evening.  I wish you a great week!

Lisa