I am sorry for your loss. I feel the pain you are experiencing trying to manage your life through this transition without your loved one. There is not a set time for any of us to start feeling normal again or to move through each day with ease and free of pain and heartache. It will come eventually, I promise. I don't know what it is like to lose a spouse, but I feel death is something we experience, the pain is there no matter the significance of the person in our lives. I lost my mother when I was twelve yrs. old. It was the most horrible time of my life. The pain was unimaginable. I watched her body become frail and weak from all her treatments. I watched my family become so unraveled that I wanted to run away from the pain. It isn't easy. You have to find a way to succomb to the emotions. Let the sorrow out and take each day as it comes. Try to become whole again (slowly) not just for you, but for your family. You know your loved ones would want you to live the rest of your life at peace and happy. It's hard, I know. I lost my father and only brother to cancer as well and I can honestly say it has been difficult, but I have come to terms with their deaths. I chose to live, not forgeting my loved ones, but to live my life in honor of them, because they can't. I chose to be and do all they would have if they were still alive.

Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.