Hello, my name is Penny Caywood, but call me Pennywyze, please. The reason I've sought out support online for my grieving is because I've literally got no one to talk with about the things I'm going through. I mean, I've got a boyfriend, Steven who lost his wife 2 days after Jeremy's benefit in 2019, but I don't dare talk about my soulmate and best friend to my old man. However, he has been repeating the same stories from his past for the last 18 months since we've been together, he never stops talking about his wife, and his time in prison. If I start talking about my past, he starts zoning out or dismisses everything I've got to say. I don't even have to be talking about the marriage I lost a few years ago, he never listens to one word I say, and when he does, he takes everything I say personally.

When I first came to the apartment here in Pasadena, Texas, he made me believe that he would "stand guard over my feelings, and not allow anyone to take advantage of them while I grieved", that would've been great if my boyfriend hadn't been the proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing because did not keep his word. Oh, he didn't allow others to take advantage of my vulnerabilities, because he did that his damn self. He knew then, as he knows today that, I've got no money due to not having a job, and that I cannot just up and walk away. I will die myself before I ever go back to living on the streets. Been there, done that at 41 years old, and do not plan on doing it ever, again.