I'm not sure if I am grieving in a positive and healthy way. All I really know for sure is that I miss my family, ...especially my sister, Melissa. Melissa had a way of making me feel important, needed, loved, cared for, special, and she had a way of lighting up a room. I am having difficulty with life in general without her. The world seems so much smaller and darker since she passed. Not near as light-hearted or inviting as before.

My sister taught me to be more accepting of people who are different or don't quite fit in somehow. She taught me the value of kindness and respect. And she taught me to be humble. She taught me how to laugh and that it is okay to be a little silly and have "the giggles" sometimes.

We shared 52 years of life and times together and it has left a huge hole in my life and a big dent in my heart. After 2 years since her passing and I am finally coming to appreciate life again, but it is with a great deal of hesitancy that I walk this path alone, without my mom, dad, brother, and sister.  I turn 60 on Tuesday the 9th of March, perhaps that is triggering feelings of loss and loneliness as well.

Seems I am holding onto the past more than I am striving for a better future. AM I though? Really?