After losing mom in October and my sister given 6 months to live with Alzheimer's... I find myself unable to find myself. A strong, independent lady all my life until now. Tears roll down my cheeks at inappropriate times and my smile is illusive. I even have found myself avoiding pictures. I hide and have pushed all away. I decided to join this community in hopes of some glimpse of something. Maybe a commonality will provide something.

My family are now worried and talking about how my mom and dad (passed in 1999) would disagree with my choice to be "stuck" in this place of sorrow. I wasn't aware it was a choice.

Each day I'm hopeful that I'll gain some joy, motivation, desire to do anything. It's just not happening. I refuse to do any medicine and don't go to docs either.. for anything. I've been able to resolve every challenge in my life myself. Now my only challenge is completing simple tasks and housekeeping.

I'm not certain how but I have to find a way home. The new home I create to exist joyfully into the last years of my life. Maybe it's about taking the focus off me and onto others. 

Could be why I'm here.