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Comment by Karin on March 21, 2017 at 7:47am

Dear AnneJ, thank you so much for your post.
I'm sorry about for losses too.
Yes, I've heard that the panting kind of breathing is a breathing seen very close to death. I am glad to hear that you experienced that your Dad got some relief from the meds.
But the thing is my Mom wasn't panting, at least I don't think so.
She was breathing very fast and hard and the whole ribcage was moving in and out with every breathe.
It was loud but didn't sound like there were fluids building up.

Comment by Laurie Slicer on March 20, 2017 at 8:10pm

Karin, you are making changes in you decisions after you have new information. You did what you thought was best at that time. Leave the past behind. It sounds like your mom was very sick. It may have been her decision to leave you. Revel in the love you had for each other. Remember her and smile. Make a point of remembering one fun moment with her each day. Also tell her you love her. It's okay to say that out loud even if she has passed.

Comment by Karin on March 20, 2017 at 4:29am

Thanks so much Laurie.It's just that I don't think she was in pain, she just had this very rapid breathing. And what is the worst in all this, is that I saw the look in her eyes when the nurse came with the second injection- she didn't want it, and was trying to tell me so by looking at me, but I ignored it, thinking that if the nurse saud yes, then it must be the best thing to do. I can just say that I was in denial:(

Comment by Laurie Slicer on March 19, 2017 at 8:19pm

Do not think you are responsible for your mother's death. It sounds like you tried to ease her pain. That was good. I also thought I had another day to "save" my mother, but I did not. My mother was very sick and ready to die, so she died very quietly with me in the room. I do not even know when she died. Your mother may have needed to say good-bye and though you weren't there, it is fine. She loved you and you loved her. Think about that. Think about your good memories.