It all started back on March  8, 2009, when my husband passed away and I found him. He and our daughter had just gotten in early that morning from a trip to NY to deliver a travel trailer for work. Our daughter and grand-daughter who was only 1 month and 2 days old were still sleeping. My husband, Gene and I were up talking and spending time together before he had to leave later in the evening for another trip out west. We had talked and loved on each other and then he went out to work on something in the garage. He than came back in and laid down since all was quiet to get some extra sleep. Around 2 in the afternoon, I went in to see what time he wanted to eat and so I could get him and us a good meal before he did leave. Earlier I had gone in and closed the door a little cause he snored and didn't want to wake the baby up. When i open the door wider and just stepped inside I knew something was wrong. The room seem colder than what it was outside, as it was still winter. I backed out and woke our daughter up to tell her to call her brother cause something was wrong with her dad. I had to tell her twice cause she was sleeping deep from the long trip. I finally walked in and found him dead in our bed. I called the 911 and my family. I didn't really know all I had done for I was just going for I knew I had to be strong for our daughter who was only 16 and she was closer to him then any of his 8 kids. I didn't know what else to do.... but wait. I hardly remember much of the days that followed only bits and pieces of what some have said. I have kept going to this day trying to do what i can to keep going. I feel as if when I went in earlier I could have maybe seen he was in trouble and got help sooner.. Maybe he would still be here. I took care of everything and everything personal for my husband and I had been taken away from me.... I keep thinking what if... I had done this or that? I have nightmares finding him when i sleep. Some people says me and our daughter done this to him and I just don't know what to do anymore. I am at the point of giving up. He died of Cardiac Arrhythmia.  I feel so lost,  I feel so guilty cause I am here and he isn't to see his granddaughter. Our daughter is hurting still and I don't know what to do anymore. It has been 4 years at times it seems like it was yesterday and other times it seems longer. I can't seem to go on, I have tried. We moved to florida to start over in 2010, with in 2 weeks I had a job and own place than Feb 14, 2011 was let go with others due to down sizing and have not worked since, not from the lack of looking just not getting anywhere. I survive by as a live in housekeeper groundskeeper for a room, but lately it has gotten out of hand, more as a slave and I can't go anywhere or do anything right. I don't know anymore.....