Well, I already have one online journal more or less dedicated to this issue, but one more can't hurt I suppose. I just can't seem to talk about the situation enough. And this site is actually dedicated to dealing with grief, so maybe the feedback will be more productive. At least I'm among people who understand.

My father (step father, technically) died in a plane crash almost a year ago (the anniversary is this Friday). He flew an ultra light sports craft called a trike. Well, he wanted to learn how to fly, he was still just a passenger. He went out on his last flight in hopes of buying the plane they were flying and starting to learn to be a pilot himself. It was a long time dream. But they crashed in a forest and didn't come back.

I wanted to do something special for the anniversary, but my family was resistant, so I let it go. My mom was willing, but as she is already engaged to someone else, I don't feel comfortable sharing this process with her anymore. I'm being childish, but then again, as a 25 year old dealing with this sort of senseless, sudden loss, I guess that's understandable. I wish she had given all of us more time to move on before taking such a drastic step herself. She knows and understands how I feel. At least there's that.

I definitely feel that its time to start "living" again, as opposed to merely walking through the motions of day to day life. I'm not sure how to start that process. I guess I already have. The time I took off work really helped, finding the crash site was extremely helpful in healing, probably the pivotable point in this process thus far. Setting up a sort of memorial will be nice too, but that will have to wait until everyone else is a little more ready. No rush. No rush at all.