another day

why does everyday seem like the last. Nothing new nothing to look forward to but going to bed and counting another day finally gone. I love my son and he is the only thing keeping me going since my daughters death. Still can not believe this is my life. My life has been hijacked. i know my daughter is around me i know she wants the best for us and for us to be happy. i just can not wrap my mind around not seeing her for possibly 40 years or so. I just can not accept that. i know she is happy i know she probably considers herself lucky to have skipped all the crap we go through in life. she had a hard time dealing with life anyway. I guess i am selfish and i just want to fast forward to the end of this movie.

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Comment by Stephanie on December 28, 2009 at 2:56pm
youre not selfish. i felt that all the time after i lost my daughter last year. it's normal for us to feel like fast forwarding to the end. its not our fault we feel like that. our pain is often unbearable and its natural to feel like that's the only way it will go away. we know we have to continue our journey, especially for our other children. but fast forwarding sometimes feels like the only remedy to our pain. (even though we know that would only cause others MORE pain! so we continue). lots of love, jan
Comment by melissa whaley on December 26, 2009 at 11:06am
i know it seems unbelievable that a person can live through so much pain. I always thought i would have to be put in an institution if somthing happened to one of my children. Instead it seems the whole world has become on big prision. Even convicts know how much time they have to serve. It just is undescibable but you dont have to describe it to me cauz i am in the same misery. only people who have lost a child could ever understand
Comment by Stephanie on December 25, 2009 at 3:31pm
hi melissa, i'm still trying to work my way around learning how to use this site, getting there. but i DID see this post.
just want to say that i know, really really know, and identify with you. i lost my 12 year old daughter one year and 8 months ago. i am battling something indescribable.
so much advice, so much trying. but i dont know how to do this, i really dont know how to live without her here with us

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