Almost a year

Mom,

I hate that you're gone. I haven't been able to sleep well lately and I'm irritable. The one year anniversary of when you left me is in two days. It doesn't seem like it's been a whole year. I have so many regrets when it comes to you. I'm sorry that I stopped talking to you. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to accept all your apologies and forgive you for hurting me. I'm sorry I was stubborn. I'm sorry I'll never get a chance to tell you I love you again. I'm sorry I wasn't there to talk to you when you were upset that night. I feel like if you felt like you could call me then you wouldn't have taken those pills and you'd still be here with me. You're going to miss so much. You're going to miss my college graduation, wedding, grandchildren, and so much more. I miss you so much. I feel so alone, mom, and I really could use a hug and for you to tell me it will be ok. Because right now it's not ok. Everything is a mess. I'm a mess. I'm getting a tattoo for you. I think you'd really like it. I can't sleep at night anymore mom. No matter how tired I am I can't stop thinking about you at night. I want to hold on to the memories as long as possible so I stay up. I can't really remember your voice anymore and that kills me. I need to hear you again. I love you so much mom and my heart is truly broken right now. I don't think I'll ever be the same again. I'm rambling and probably not even making sense, but to sum it all up. I miss and love you and your death has forever changed my life.

I love you.

Dani

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