AFTER LOSS CREDO

I need to talk about my loss.
I may often feel the need to tell you what
happened - or to ask you why it happened.

I may frequently need for you to listen
while I explain what this loss means to me.
Each time I discuss my loss, I am helping myself
face the reality of the death of my loved one.

I need to know that you care about me.
I need to feel your touch, your hugs. I need you just
to be with me. And I need to be with you.

I need for you to believe in me and in my
ability to get through this grief in
my own way - and in my own time.

Please don't judge me now.
Or think that I'm behaving strangely.
Remember I'm grieving. I may be in shock.
I may feel afraid. I may feel deep rage.
I may even feel guilty. But above all, I hurt.
I am experiencing a pain unlike
any I've ever felt before.

Don't be concerned if you think I'm getting better
and then suddenly I seem to slip backward again.
Grief makes me behave this way at times.

And please don't tell me you know just
how I feel or that it's time for me to get on with my
life. I am probably already saying this to myself.
I just need for you to be patient now
and to try to understand.

Finally, allow me the time I need to grieve and to recover.
I want to get on with my life-but I know that first I
must walk through the dark shadows of my grief.
And, although it is almost impossible for me to believe
this now, I know that one day my grief will end.

Most of all, thank you for being my friend
Thank you for caring, for helping, for understanding.
Thank you for praying for me. And remember,
in the days or years ahead--after your loss-when you
need me as I have needed you, I will understand,
and then I will come and be with you.

_________________________________________________

The After Loss Credo is condensed from After Loss, A Recovery
Companion for Those Who Are Grieving by Barbara Les Strong.