It was a day like any other. Taking care of everyone, going to doctor, etc. Then someone comes at dinner time...Aaron did not come home from work, and we found that he had been in an accident. He died almost instantly from multiple blunt force trauma. I can still hardly believe it, and it is two months later.

Of course, I share many of the same feelings as the rest of this select club...all the guilt, sorrow, anger, sadness, despair...the list goes on and on. It is funny how you do so many things in your life and you think they are right, only to end up in this situation and rethinking EVERYTHING! Should I have done this? Why didn't I do that? They say hindsight is 20/20 but I do not think that this is that. I think we are just grasping at straws, trying to find a way to undo this horrible thing.

Aaron was 26, too young...I have no grandbaby with his kind heart and funny smile. My other kids and grandkids are here for me, but that Aaron shaped hole will never leave my heart. I just have to find a way to be ok with him as a memory and not the living breathing blessing he was to me since he was born. Sorrow pervades all of my life. It is like a fog or a shadow that just will not go away. I am not the same--I will never be the same again.