I found this today and it is worth sharing.  I found it validated all of what I have been telling myself and others about letting me do this my way.  I have lived through enough horror in my life I know I needed to trust myself to make the right decisions for me and reading this today was good.  I am going to print a copy off and put it on my fridge.  I hope when you click on the link it takes you to the page written by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. called Helping yourself heal when your spouse dies.  But it makes sense to me as a mother whos son died in 2010 too. 

http://griefwords.com/index.cgi?action=page&page=articles%2Fhel...