It seems I never fully get over what the Cancer did to mom....I drifted back to it today. She was the nicest women I ever met. She had very few whom disliked her. She believed you could talk out all your differences with someone. Witch is something I have never been able to do but she lived by it. She treated everyone like family no matter who you where or where you came from. She would have given you the shirt of her own back if she knew you needed it. To watch the Cancer just totally eat away at her like that was the most devastating thing that life/fate/death could have ever thrown at me. I helplessly watched as it warped her shape and cased her allot of pain...for her food became indigestible and pain was creeping on with the start of almost every hour...Soon she could no longer walk or see at all. She became deathly skinny from head to stomach and blown up like a balloon from the waste down...To see this happen made me scared enough for the both of us....She cried when she lost her sight...She kept relating it to what her father must have felt like when he went blind...She went from hardly ever sleeping to a death like sleep....but near the end...she used to just wrinkle her blanket all about her self..Thats what I always recall the most...I knew that day her time was coming near and I might not have much time left to talk with her...a few days later she went into Hospice...And passed about 2 weeks later...I held her hand and felt her spirit slip away....I would never be the same ever again...I am an every day Soldier. Though I am not your typical American Soldier off to fight the war I fight my own war known as everyday life. I never really know what fates are in store for me but I keep on going.