I wonder just how long it will take me to wake up, and not have my thoughts immediately focus on missing my wife.    I can say not today.  

Perhaps writing this stuff every day will establish a timeline that others can look in the future.  I hope it has some positive use to others.

So here it is more than 7 weeks away from my wife.  The anxiety seems to be somewhat less than other days, feeling very lonely though.

I live out in the country with no really close neighbors.  It makes the feelings of abandonment and isolation worse now.  The reason we chose to live here was we had a bad neighbor long ago and never wanted to have to deal with that again.  I guess I never thought about what it would be like here without my wife.  

I think about the curse of modern society and technology that makes us turn more inward and socially isolate ourselves on a daily basis, staring at little boxes and not engaging those around us. It now is accepted that you can look at you phone and not talk to others even when in close quarters.  How many people actually have conversation with those we sit next to on airplanes anymore?  Although this website helps, it is no substitute for any actual direct human interaction.  Maybe I will start my own commune, for those of us wanting to turn back the clock and live in an extended family lifestyle.  

I am going to have lunch with my sister today, I hope that helps.  

I really miss Cheryl, I want her back, I will never have her back, it hurts, and now I am crying, this is so difficult.