What I miss the most.

The companionship, the feeling of someone I love is always with me no matter where in the world I may be.

My sons mother, my son is a special needs young man, no one will ever love him as his mother did again.

The comfort, when I was ill or hurting.

The loss of hope of ever returning our relationship to what it was before alcohol and prescription meds got a hold of her.

I slept for 7 hours last night, the most in a while, had bad dreams, realized within a dream my wife was gone.  Feelings this morning, deep longing for my with, sadness, anger at the stupidity of the loss and her choice to resume drinking.  

I read more articles last night about loss at this point in life, I fear never feeling love and trusting companionship again, it's a difficult road to look down.  

My sister tells me things will get better, this is for the better for my son (my wife was corrupting my son with alcohol, tobacco, and marijuana unknown to me until after she past), there are plenty of good women (the thought of playing the dating game makes me ill right now).  It's hard for me to buy into her reasoning.  

I woke up and I am still living the nightmare, I hate the morning........