This is probably the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with as it is for anyone who loses their loved ones. As we get older it is the one thing we can guarantee in this life that we will lose our closest relatives and friends. My first loss was when I was 20 and my grandfather passed away while I was living half way across the country but as hard as that was I got through it. It gave me the sense that I can be strong for my family but this time it's harder. One year, 8 months and…