I can't sleep. I miss you so much. It seems so unfair that you are not here. It has not even been a month. I have trouble breathing sometimes and can't see myself doing this without you. I close my eyes and hear your last moments. I feel like a chunk of ice that is begining to thaw out. I was so cold and numb at first, but now little things chip away at that cold numbness and it feels like a kick in my stomach. I have no one to talk to. No one here gets this pain. They all say, "You have to…