God in my hoping, there in my dreaming..God in my watching, God in my waiting..God in my laughing, there in my weeping..God in my hurting, God in my healing

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When my Dad passed from brain cancer...it took about 3 years to stop the barrage of nightmares, in which I was constantly looking after him, trying to keep him from falling etc as he was so dizzy and unstable on his feet before being totally bedridden. Now I am assailed by the most horrendous nightmares again...the worst ones being where Peter is being kept alive somewhere and being experimented on, and when I finally get to him, he is so relieved that I have come to rescue him, he is…

It has been raining a lot this past week. Too much even. Rather this than a drought. Am so blessed to have a home and warm clothes and food etc. Also that my home is not flooded like so many are! In fact I am very blessed in so many ways. I am not in hospital, have a fully functioning body....yes, I can count my blessings and name them one by one and see what God has done, and never get to the end of it.

I have read in Plato and Cicero sayings that are very wise and very beautiful; but I never read in either of them: "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden." --Augustine

I accept what happened. Why *not* me/us in this fallen, cruel world of suffering. Futile to question. Profits nothing. It's never going to be okay. We are all going to die. Please forgive me in advance if I make things worse for anyone.