For me grief has been something like this; you know when you're in an airplane or at a loud concert or club and your ears plug up so that everything outside of your own thoughts is muffled and garbled and ultimately it becomes too much effort to attempt to focus on anything outside yourself (maybe that part is just me - I'm both lazy and self absorbed)?



Then suddenly, out of the blue, your ears pop and unplug and you are hyper-sensitive to the slightest sound?



So I was all… Continue

I am at the point these last few days where I can rationally work through the reality that my mother is gone.



When I focus on that idea I can work it through to it's logical end and accept that all we have are our memories of Her. Luckily for us those memories are so full of Her incredible, indestructible spirit that they will not easily be lost.



And then I lie in bed and close my eyes.



That's when the instinctual part of my brain makes itself heard and… Continue

After being awake for a few hours today I suddenly thought, huh! I haven't thought about Mom once yet today. I almost began to panic (if you'll recall the grief I alluded to experiencing yesterday) but I almost suddenly realized that I was wrong.



The thing is, I hadn't experienced any of the sudden, overwhelming, excruciating memories of my mother that has the power to contort my body, mind, my spirit and leave me huddled on the floor curled into myself and trying to ward off the… Continue

I find myself focusing very hard on stemming the random flow of tears these days; not out of any sense of crying as weakness or a need to put up any kind of front of strength. I am perfectly comfortable feeling weak and giving in to said weakness, either while I'm alone or surrounded by any number of relative strangers.



Ask anyone who knows me, they'll tell you that I am capable of bursting into tears while describing an especially moving long distance commercial.



These… Continue