I am having trouble getting through my days now.  My brother died one week ago, after a long illness.  He did so well with his illness, a true hero in my mind.  I am still having guilty anxious feelings about our estrangement, for some years, before I found out about his illness, 3 years ago.  The estrangement was from both sides, more from his than mine, in some ways, but I let it go on, and even felt it was the right thing for me too.  Now I regret those missed years.  

I take some…