rhonda jean
  • Female
  • Maynard, MA
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 48 year old married mother of three girls. I have been a stay at home mom for 20 years. My girls are now grown. I make jewelry and sell it online and at shows around Mew England.
About my Loss:
My mother died of a rare disease called calciphylaxis. She suffered terribly and fought hard but succumbed to this disease in April 2015. I am her only child. I have been actively trying to get out of my grief for awhile now and was doing better but her anniversary coming has thrown me back in a big and bad way. It is still a month til her anniversary and I am taken aback by this sudden sadness all over again.
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At 3:32pm on July 26, 2017, Panda said…
Honestly my life is not so easy and I need some serious mental help. Not only am I dealing with grief but I already suffer from anxiety depression ptsd bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. Getting a job isn't so easy for me I try to fill out a stupid application and I give up because it stresses me out. I'm trying to get a job but I just can't deal with it at the moment. I need help and I can't get the help I need unless I'm in a hospital but even that doesn't help cuz they keep you for 5-7 days and then they discharge you and then it's the same old crap. If I wasn't so alone everything would be much easier to deal with but I am and moving to Ohio with him could help me by making me feel less alone :/ I'm sure if your kids were 20 (my age) and in my shoes they would too
At 9:01am on July 26, 2017, Panda said…
Hi. I wanted to say thanks for the huge comment. You were talking about shutting out the people who hurt me but for me it's not so easy. I'm ready to start new I'm ready to shut my "family" out. I am. But I don't know how. I mean I basically shut out most of my " "family" however there's one person I'm still stuck with and I can't get rid of him (my "father") I've been needing to get away from him leave him never talk to him again and the worst part that really hurts is I know he won't care :/ there's this guy who lives in Ohio that told me I could stay with him but I only know him from the internet and don't wanna live with him but I mean that would be the only way to leave my fd up "family". I mean honestly I'm thinking about moving up there with him cuz I have no more time. I need help and I need help now. But I mean that's the only thing I can do. That's the only thing that could possibly save me. But yet I'm even scared to do that. I'm actually thinking about ect (electric shock treatment) and maybe if I get that I would be alot happier cuz it could help me forget most of the trauma in my life and maybe will help me be less angry with my "family" and it could make it more bearable to be with my family. Idk though. But honestly getting rid of my "fathers" not so easy :/
 
 
 

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