Paul,  It is a horrendous path you are now traveling much harder than any of the other obstacles in life we thought we were enduring.  There really isn't much we can do other than endure the pain.  In my case my husband died after being diagnosed with stage 4 cancer which we had no idea he even had.  He lasted 27 days from diagnosis to death.  Not enough time for me to understand the freight train that was about to hit me.  My body and brain went into shock.  Took two years plus to come out from the shroud of what had happened to me.  

Death of our beloved is hell on earth.  No need to rise to anywhere else to experience it.  No one and no thing will remove the anguish you are going to try and manage.

Having your service dog (which leads me to think you have other problems) you are dealing with will be one of your best lifelines.  That and sharing and being here amongst people who understand what it is like to lose their beloved.

Recently I have tried to reach out more than I did before to try and comfort.  Before all I could do was come here and throw all the pain out to everyone else so that they could help me carry the burden.  Now I want to try to give something back. 

We are all in the same boat, rowing furiously.  Waves crashing over our heads and we have no idea which one is going to pummel us.  But they will.  

Lean on your dog for the love that a pet can give and try to find another person who will just be around to listen.  That is difficult but some of us succeed in finding someone who is just there as a friend to pour out our hearts on a regular basis.  

Right now take baby steps. Try to shower, eat, and let the emotions flow.  As painful as the emotions are I believe it is better to get them out than stack them inside.

Wish I had anything more to give but for now just know I am thinking of you and hope you are making it through your day.  

take care,

morgan