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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 31 years old. An only child. a mother of two and have been married for 13 years.
- About my Loss:
- I lost my father to cancer July 6, 2011. and lost my mother June 19, 2012 from a heart attack. i had to make the decision to take my mother off life support after she suffered brain damage due to loss of oxygen . She had been living with her boyfriend who didn't call for help when she was complaining of chest pains and vomiting bile. he called after she stopped breathing and she was without oxygen for 20-45 minutes before an ambulance came and was able to get her heart beating again. When i drove the five hours to the hospital she had been put on a ventilator and a cooling system to try to cool her body and give her brain a chance to heal . however after many tests and bringing her body back to normal temperature her heart was only functioning at 45%. she began to try and breathe over the vent but her brain had no function otherwise. after testing the doctors wanted to move her to another center but didn't know if shed ever wake up,were doubtful,and said shed have no quality of life if she did. so i made the decision to take her off the vent. she passed an hour and a half later. I knew she didn't ever want to be put in a nursing home or live in a vegitative state. I made the hardest decision ever, but I prayed over it and left it in God's hands. I struggle everyday but am slowly healing.
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My Fathers Loss
Many years ago, I lost my father after his battle with colon cancer that later spread to his bones. The grief stayed with me longer than I expected. Ambrosia Behavioral Health helped me work through that loss, understand my emotions, and find healthier ways to cope and move forward. https://www.ambrosiatc.comSee More
"Professional help gives you a safe space to talk, understand your emotions, and learn healthy ways to cope. It can make grief feel less overwhelming and easier to manage over time. https://www.ambrosiatc.com"
Traumatic loss of an only child
I started this group so that people who have lost their only child or the only child that remained, as in my case, could come together because I believe people that did have a child or children who now have none have special issues.
Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide
If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
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“Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not gaze about, for I am your God. I will fortify you. I will really help you. I will really keep fast hold of you with my right hand of righteousness.’For I, Jehovah your God, am grasping your right hand, the One saying to you, ‘Do not be afraid. I myself will help you.’” --Isaiah 41: 10 & 13
Dear Misty,
I am so sorry that you were put in that situation. Boyfriend? What was he doing in the 20 minutes she was without oxygen? Why??? YOU can survive without food for weeks. You can live without water for days. But if you hold your breath, severe discomfort sets in after mere seconds. And just four minutes of oxygen deprivation can cause brain damage and death. Oxygen is the prime need of the human body! How is it that he has not been charged with negligent homicide? I love my mom so much that when I read your story this is what I struggled with. I was in your position and she was my mom.
I can understand why you are struggling with taking her off life support; however, her “boyfriend” is the one that should be feeling guilty!
My family has suffered over the death of loved ones and has found the Bible a source of comfort. I hope the scripture at the top reminds you that you are not alone in your sorrow and that God cares. Pray for his help.
Brenda
Mawmaw1591@gmail.com