metreid
  • Female
  • Scotland
  • United Kingdom
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About Me:
51, normally:::
strong and the one everyone else relies on, Spiritual, evolving, lateral thinker.
About my Loss:
My wee mammy passed 4 months ago (I'm Scottish!) and after an extended period of shock, then depression, then nothing, it's finally hitting me. No-one wants to broach the subject, I keep it all private to not upset others but this is one taboo that I wish ppl WOULD discuss. It hurts in all the 'minutae' ways I'd never have expected;It is still unreal I'll never see her again.. I'm 51, never been bereaved before, did not have a great relationship with her, but knew she was always there for me. Now no-one is. I never leaned on her but always knew I could if I wanted; so no longer have my port in the storm, my marker of all, my safety net. Like suddenly the floors not there-taken as a 'given' but no longer there. For all the good and the bad I am me because of her. She loved, infuriated, supported, laughed at, laughed with, leaned on, hurt, was loyal to me..i have nothing now, entirely without a mum; the world's most consistant safety net and heart of tge universr,alone in this world of hardness and heartlessness. I remember silly things, good things, confidences that carry such heartache. This isnt me;I was tougher than this. She brought me into this world, there was no beginning to 'our story' but now there's a hard, insurmountable 'end'; she just went and I was left to be as stoic and strong as she was. I want her back, she's not here, she's not here, she's not here.
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
I work with vulnerable, young children.

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Grandma sewing room

So I am almost done with cleaning my grandmas sewing room that wasn’t touched in 10 years because of all the mess, but now that she passed away 2 days ago, I don’t know if I should continue, I wanna finish what I started but I don’t know what to do, my grandpa is still alive and I don’t want to leave this burden on him.See More
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