Corinne I wish I knew as you know I have explained my very own story and it goes deeper . Yes I want to hear more of course I want to understand so that I can try to help in any small way to make you feel a little less pained. Please tell me your story and I will listen intently.

Thanks, Corinne.  I appreciate the welcome and encouragement.  I can't imagine what it was like for you to be there with him as he died.  I knnow nothing will take the pain away, but the warmth and encouragement and people to share with will hopefully make it bearable while I heal.

Thanks Corinne.  I'm sorry to hear about your loss as well.  I can't imagine what it must've been like to be there with him at the end.

I'm grateful for any/all support I can get.  I've needed it from family and friends just to take care of the business I have, and I really don't want to burn them out with hearing me go over this too much.  Many of them knew my wife, too, and have their own grief and pain to deal with.  Having others to talk to is something I'm hoping will help.

Thank you.  I'm new to this so getting the welcome and the shared understanding of some of what it's like is very appreciated.  I plan to keep coming back.  I know I need the help to get through this.

I would love to know the story.  My marriage has not been great either.  I am missing him so much.  I know that pain.  I am feeling a little better on and off--some days better than others.  Some days I don't cry some days I break down and cry a bit.  Things remind me of him.  One thing that has helped me?  I've read books on grief.  I also did a teleconference if interested I can give you the name of the man and organization.  He is wonderful.  Talking to ladies who have been through this grief REALLY helped.  But also?  My mom and I every day watch BBC America --The Graham Norton show.  For at least 1 hour, my mom and I laugh together.  God Bless him...it has been something to look forward to each day.  Honestly? I know how you feel to some extent.  I'd rather have painful surgery than painful heart ache.  My whole life has changed.  Jess was going to help me rebuild my business.....and that isn't gonna happen ever.  I am lucky that I have online friends though whom I can talk to. YOu know? People push you tell you--move on, get over it, blah blah..but you know?  if you need to stay in bed all day? DO IT.  Do whatever YOU FEEL you need to do.  I still have days that I am only up a couple hours.  It is hard because my mom is in her 70's and needs help etc and that is so hard to.  I feel selfish but on the other hand....I am going through such painful emotions I need to shut down from time to time.  Sending you HUGS----

I am soooooooooooooo sorry to hear of your loss---I understand as much as I can from my perspective.  I know it is hard it's only been 9 weeks for me.... Jess and I never got to meet.  He was getting ready to come.  it has been so hard for me.  I have had trouble getting closure.  Where in the UK were you born?